Now That I Know You Exist

Your presence in my life began much the way dreams do

a slow foggy half awake beckoning of the soul

it made the world seem calmer and more thrilling
all at the same time

that new found knowledge was like pulling a blanket up over my shoulders
on a cold winter night

The line of demarcation that had formerely defined me

no longer fell on such mundane lines

as day of birth
starting school
moving to a new house

or any of the other former measures
that had come before

the lines commmonly used to decide
when ones life takes a significant turn

now falls with great impact
on when I first knew about you

versus when I did not

that miraculous moment when I began to look at the world
through anothers set of eyes
peering out of me inwardly

your eyes

your thoughts

your viewpoint

as though it were mine

pudding proof that I had assimilated your world view in with my own

where it now rests on the puffed comfortable couch of my heart

beside my own unique thoughts and feelings

a space where I can have a running inner dialogue at any moment

an effortless free flowing stream of consciousness conversation

about anything at all

knowing all my thoughts are safe in your hands

the world may notice a new, crackling energy in me

or perhaps

a secret far away smile

as I wait patiently in a long line

seeming as though I have been transported far away.

It is true

I have

to that secret place inside of me where your spirit and mine

now reside

together

knowing you

has

changed my world.

I know love

because it defines you

and I
know
you.

Daydream From a Woman's Heart

Daydream From a Woman's Heart

In my most perfect daydream
my children would turn out exactly as I wrote the script
I would be beautiful
and thin!

my husband would be possessed of the singular ability to read my mind
(and like what he read)
my dog would behave
my cooking would be renown
my friends would adore me
my enemies would change their mind about me
my colloquialisms for life would be exquisite to all!

and finally..........
I would grow old and die

surrounded by
my loved ones both two and 4 legged...

screech...............

sound of record stopping!

How ABSOLUTELY boring!

How done already!

Instead....
I propose an alternate scenario for all us mothers and women out there who have hearts filled with dreams...

our children will abandon our script and we will be glad
(for how can they let go of the past in order to shape the future?)

We will suddenly realize that we already are beautiful in the minds eye of those who truly get us
what a relief

we can lay that beauty/thin/ thing down on the side of the road starting right now
a dog not behaving?
That is what makes blood to boil,
and laughter to bubble forth
and generates great stories to tell over dinner
keep it up pup!

More than likely our cooking is plenty renown - its just a matter of not serving it till after everyone is hungry - then make them wait 30 more minutes - its all about the perception!
as for our friends...

they already do adore us - that is why they are our friends
whereas our enemies never really knew us,
pity, really (for them)
and as for our colloquialisms shining in our clever use of superlatives...
the truth is it never was us at all.

Rather,
it has been life itself
all along

shining in its exquisiteness

our words are merely reflecting that glow,
thus decreeing every day a chance to shine
because it is all already there - waiting for us to show up.

As for dying, why think about it really?

Maybe I will die standing on top of a mountain I just climbed at the age of 100 just to see if I could.

Maybe I will die in bed
(I hope its in my sleep.)

Since none of us knows or can impact or plan for it in any way, why really care?

What we can plan, what we can impact,
is each day

right now.

We can love our children just as they are
and that goes for husbands too...

and friends be they of the two or 4 legged variety.

We can recognize that what nourishes best is anything that is real,
be it food,

words,

or glances...

and we can serve them up warmly and often.

Now that I think about it,

I like this plan.

I like this woman better.

I am going to go off the script of average and take the adventurous and unknown and embrace it with lifes arms wide open.

How about you?

Quotes I Love

When I hit a dry well in writing or when I come across something I love, I will post it making sure it is clear that it is a quote - not written by me but enjoyed by me.

Here is one:

Believe while others are doubting.
Plan while others are playing.
Study while others are sleeping.
Decide while others are delaying.
Prepare while others are daydreaming.
Begin while others are procrastinating.
Work while others are wishing.
Save while others are wasting.
Listen while others are talking.
Smile while others are frowning.
Commend while others are criticizing.
Persist while others are quitting.

-William Arthur Ward

Now if only I could actually do all of that...