Alarm clock
beeping a reverse lullaby
Coffee brewing
sounds and smells of the day
lights turning on to block out a pink sky
sleepy little heads rubbed to awake
asphalt and tires mix
with fog
phones jingle faxes rattle
computers hum
people color the in between moments
home
the aroma of dinner
tv casting rainbows around the walls
baths and soft pajamas
stories read
kisses
lights turned off to let in the stars
Monday, July 9, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
What Is A Woman
What Is A Woman
Is it her smile
Her ability to procreate
swaying hips and big lips
or is it her staying power
baby sick
accounts overdrawn
when he turns to her as he walks out the door
her steady smile
fueling him
Is it her soft touch
on the pillow each night
of her young
that which helps them grow
like vitamins for the soul
or maybe that smile of letting go
when her job is done
her young unsure
but knowing they must leave
the steady look in her eyes
that says yes
leave
leave me and fly
soar
carry yourself far
for that is what I dreamed for you
way long ago
while I rocked you in my arms
Is it her smile
Her ability to procreate
swaying hips and big lips
or is it her staying power
baby sick
accounts overdrawn
when he turns to her as he walks out the door
her steady smile
fueling him
Is it her soft touch
on the pillow each night
of her young
that which helps them grow
like vitamins for the soul
or maybe that smile of letting go
when her job is done
her young unsure
but knowing they must leave
the steady look in her eyes
that says yes
leave
leave me and fly
soar
carry yourself far
for that is what I dreamed for you
way long ago
while I rocked you in my arms
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dreams
That magical canvas of the mind
Images sliding morphing seamlessly
free flowing ink blots
where thoughts run free
of daylight
a warm syrupy mix of feelings and impressions
communicating
telling you who you are
each morning we awake
shrug them off
their stardust residue
slides from our shoulders
we go out to face another day.
Images sliding morphing seamlessly
free flowing ink blots
where thoughts run free
of daylight
a warm syrupy mix of feelings and impressions
communicating
telling you who you are
each morning we awake
shrug them off
their stardust residue
slides from our shoulders
we go out to face another day.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
A Fairly Odd Woman
She was born on a hardship morning
when the cold settled
into the valleys
and surrounding hills
and knuckles of the old ones
She grew like the wild grass
the way things grow when they are left alone
to grow naturally
at one point she learned manners
societies rules
they nearly destroyed her
but not quite
for she learned to dance in the rain
to take midnight walks
to savor her own soul
she learned that every moment breathes
with the opportunity to invent who you are
so she succored and she treasured
each moments lesson
and ever so slowly life claimed her
as one of its own
and she became all that she had learned;
kindness
gentleness
wisdom
like rocket fueled boosters
falling away once theyve done their job
she learned and let go
she took that wild ride to places unknown
steered only by the stars
and the universe that created them
when the cold settled
into the valleys
and surrounding hills
and knuckles of the old ones
She grew like the wild grass
the way things grow when they are left alone
to grow naturally
at one point she learned manners
societies rules
they nearly destroyed her
but not quite
for she learned to dance in the rain
to take midnight walks
to savor her own soul
she learned that every moment breathes
with the opportunity to invent who you are
so she succored and she treasured
each moments lesson
and ever so slowly life claimed her
as one of its own
and she became all that she had learned;
kindness
gentleness
wisdom
like rocket fueled boosters
falling away once theyve done their job
she learned and let go
she took that wild ride to places unknown
steered only by the stars
and the universe that created them
Monday, July 4, 2011
ACTS
Leaving at least one cup of Java for someone you love/like
Tipping the bag boy (even though nobody does that anymore)
Picking up a stray piece of litter not of your own making
Answering the phone at the next desk - even though you don't really relate to that person
tipping the waiter extra because you saw the people at the table next to you were impossible
stepping out of the elevator to wait because of the crutches/wheel chair/stroller -which ever branch of humanity is less strong than you
Letting the cat out for a moment of sunshine and nature
Greeting the UPS man with a smile
An even bigger warmer smile for those who live with you
A shoulder rub
A lamp turned down
a blanket pulled up
Laying down at night and releasing the day
knowing
that all your acts counted
Tipping the bag boy (even though nobody does that anymore)
Picking up a stray piece of litter not of your own making
Answering the phone at the next desk - even though you don't really relate to that person
tipping the waiter extra because you saw the people at the table next to you were impossible
stepping out of the elevator to wait because of the crutches/wheel chair/stroller -which ever branch of humanity is less strong than you
Letting the cat out for a moment of sunshine and nature
Greeting the UPS man with a smile
An even bigger warmer smile for those who live with you
A shoulder rub
A lamp turned down
a blanket pulled up
Laying down at night and releasing the day
knowing
that all your acts counted
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Summer Satire
Dear Diary,
Today is Monday June 27th 2011
Well I did it! I went to the therapist this morning. It is late and I am tired and lying here in my bed with you on my laptop, so I will make this short and sweet and add more in the morning before my 10:30 massage appointment.
Ashley lies sleeping beside me and the sound of his snoring is so annoying! There! I poked him and he rolled over. That’s a little better. Where was I? Oh, right, the Therapist! I was a few minutes late and SHE made me wait! Can you imagine??? Anyway I tried to hide my annoyance once she finally invited me in to her office and I sat down in what I must admit, was a very comfortable leather club chair. Imported I think.
She wanted to know why I was there. What kind of question was that? If I could answer that I wouldn’t need to be there! But I felt forced to come up with some kind of answer because she just SAT there and waited and one of us needed to say something.
I told her that I was unhappy "My husband is so, well, boring.
He makes enough money so that I can come see you i told her but other than that the mans is SO insipid.
"What did you see in him when you first met him?" she asked rolling the pen between her fingers and leaning back in her leather chair as though the question was an after thought.
Well... now that I think back, what I saw all those years ago was how much Melanie wanted him, Melanie "the good". All through high school she constantly made me look bad with all her "goodness" Good grief, she was almost as insipid as Ashley! But for some reason especially that night at the prom, she was all glowy and Ashley seemed fascinated by her. Her in her boringly beige dress.
Never mind me looking breathtakingly glorious in red.
I looked fantastic, the truth of that was in every pair of male eyes in the room- except Ashley’s.
And when they announced HER name as prom queen, well....my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. But somehow looking at him standing up there on that stage beside her I realized that he looked good to me. Real good! Maybe it was the lighting but I just knew that I wanted that man. And that was that.
Realizing I hadn’t spoken out loud to answer the question I cleared my throat and hastily replied
“he was OK then I guess,”
my words trailed off and I looked at the Dr. waiting for a real question.
"Did you have any friends in high school?" she inquired.
Honestly Diary, I wouldn’t want to know how this woman makes her living as a therapist asking such dumb questions.
I told her, "I was the most popular girl in high school."
"Who did you confide in?" she asked quietly.
"Oh well, that is a different a different question" I laughed. "I could tell Prissy anything!" I smiled remembering.
"You see, she and her mother worked for us and she was just always around, helping me get ready and stuff."
"Are you still friends?" she asked.
"No" I laughed again, "She has gotten very uppity. She changed her name to Whoppi and now she does stand up comedy about snooty white southern belles. I've never been to see her act, it doesn’t sound very funny to me."
Diary..you know how you hear that all psychiatrists are crazy?
Well, I'm no expert I know, since this is the first one I’ve ever talked to but all the sudden for no reason whatsoever, she just made a strangling sound and held her tablet she been writing on in front of her face.
It was so weird. . Then she stood up and walked to a bar and poured a glass of water and drank it. Staring at her back, I saw her shoulders were shaking up and down and when she turned back around her eyes were all wet.
So I guess that little rumor about shrinks is true. Fortunately her little fit didn’t last long as I AM (well OK Ashley is) PAYING her a lot of money and so far we hadn’t done anything but make light conversation.
"Tell me" she said as she sat back down at her desk. "Melanie sounds like she was an important figure in your life when you were younger. Do you still keep in touch?"
Honestly, did this woman treat all her patients this way? Sit them in chair and ask them stupid questions about how their friends were doing? I was tempted to take a peek at the framed degrees hanging on the wall behind her head just to see who in the world ever gave her a degree but by the way she stared at me I thought better of it. Better wait and see if she had another one of her little coughing fits and look then!
I answered her question as patiently as I could. "First of all I told her, Melanie was not important in MY life, I was important in hers, she told me so herself."
No need to get snappy I thought. I took a deep breath and continued,
"As for seeing her, we traveled in the same circles even after we graduated. By early fall Ashley and I were engaged and planning the wedding of the year and she went abroad. For school I think.
She ended up staying there-I guess."
My neck felt hot.
"She recently came back after years away and I saw her at a charity function. She was with her husband, Rhett something or other…."
Diary, my voice just trailed off and I felt like I was the one who needed water.
There was no way I was going to tell her about that magnificent man. How Melanie ever got him, now that was a good question!
I don’t think I’ve ever written three pages in here about anyone else ever. But that’s what it took just to describe him.
Describe how magnetic and vibrant he is…and how everyone flocked around them, hanging on their every word, as thought being from Europe was like coming back from Mars or something.
Including Ashley, standing there laughing, the light shining off his balding head.
I felt very hot then too, and then inexplicably cold. Then my heart did that funny flippy thing.
That’s been happening every day ever since. Like I caught some kind of virus. Only my internist is calling it an anxiety attack – he doesn’t listen when I tell him the “attacks” are causing the anxiety!
Anyway, I just sat there tugging at the suddenly tight collar on my Joie blouse, gasping for breath, about to faint and slide right off the chair onto the floor
and “Dr. Degree from who knows where” says
“Are you alright? Would you like some water?”
“Yes," I croaked with my last dying breath.
Anyway diary, the end result was she gave me some medication that she says will stop the “attacks” for now and then we will continue to have sessions until she thinks I wont need the medicine.
I wish we could have had a session today instead of talking about other people the whole time but what do I know?
I looked the medicine up here on my laptop before I opened you and Diary guess what? The main side effect of the medication is weight gain!
There’s no way I’m going to risk that!
Oh, did I mention Melanie is as skinny as ever?
Yawn…
good night dear Diary.
love,
Scarlett
Today is Monday June 27th 2011
Well I did it! I went to the therapist this morning. It is late and I am tired and lying here in my bed with you on my laptop, so I will make this short and sweet and add more in the morning before my 10:30 massage appointment.
Ashley lies sleeping beside me and the sound of his snoring is so annoying! There! I poked him and he rolled over. That’s a little better. Where was I? Oh, right, the Therapist! I was a few minutes late and SHE made me wait! Can you imagine??? Anyway I tried to hide my annoyance once she finally invited me in to her office and I sat down in what I must admit, was a very comfortable leather club chair. Imported I think.
She wanted to know why I was there. What kind of question was that? If I could answer that I wouldn’t need to be there! But I felt forced to come up with some kind of answer because she just SAT there and waited and one of us needed to say something.
I told her that I was unhappy "My husband is so, well, boring.
He makes enough money so that I can come see you i told her but other than that the mans is SO insipid.
"What did you see in him when you first met him?" she asked rolling the pen between her fingers and leaning back in her leather chair as though the question was an after thought.
Well... now that I think back, what I saw all those years ago was how much Melanie wanted him, Melanie "the good". All through high school she constantly made me look bad with all her "goodness" Good grief, she was almost as insipid as Ashley! But for some reason especially that night at the prom, she was all glowy and Ashley seemed fascinated by her. Her in her boringly beige dress.
Never mind me looking breathtakingly glorious in red.
I looked fantastic, the truth of that was in every pair of male eyes in the room- except Ashley’s.
And when they announced HER name as prom queen, well....my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. But somehow looking at him standing up there on that stage beside her I realized that he looked good to me. Real good! Maybe it was the lighting but I just knew that I wanted that man. And that was that.
Realizing I hadn’t spoken out loud to answer the question I cleared my throat and hastily replied
“he was OK then I guess,”
my words trailed off and I looked at the Dr. waiting for a real question.
"Did you have any friends in high school?" she inquired.
Honestly Diary, I wouldn’t want to know how this woman makes her living as a therapist asking such dumb questions.
I told her, "I was the most popular girl in high school."
"Who did you confide in?" she asked quietly.
"Oh well, that is a different a different question" I laughed. "I could tell Prissy anything!" I smiled remembering.
"You see, she and her mother worked for us and she was just always around, helping me get ready and stuff."
"Are you still friends?" she asked.
"No" I laughed again, "She has gotten very uppity. She changed her name to Whoppi and now she does stand up comedy about snooty white southern belles. I've never been to see her act, it doesn’t sound very funny to me."
Diary..you know how you hear that all psychiatrists are crazy?
Well, I'm no expert I know, since this is the first one I’ve ever talked to but all the sudden for no reason whatsoever, she just made a strangling sound and held her tablet she been writing on in front of her face.
It was so weird. . Then she stood up and walked to a bar and poured a glass of water and drank it. Staring at her back, I saw her shoulders were shaking up and down and when she turned back around her eyes were all wet.
So I guess that little rumor about shrinks is true. Fortunately her little fit didn’t last long as I AM (well OK Ashley is) PAYING her a lot of money and so far we hadn’t done anything but make light conversation.
"Tell me" she said as she sat back down at her desk. "Melanie sounds like she was an important figure in your life when you were younger. Do you still keep in touch?"
Honestly, did this woman treat all her patients this way? Sit them in chair and ask them stupid questions about how their friends were doing? I was tempted to take a peek at the framed degrees hanging on the wall behind her head just to see who in the world ever gave her a degree but by the way she stared at me I thought better of it. Better wait and see if she had another one of her little coughing fits and look then!
I answered her question as patiently as I could. "First of all I told her, Melanie was not important in MY life, I was important in hers, she told me so herself."
No need to get snappy I thought. I took a deep breath and continued,
"As for seeing her, we traveled in the same circles even after we graduated. By early fall Ashley and I were engaged and planning the wedding of the year and she went abroad. For school I think.
She ended up staying there-I guess."
My neck felt hot.
"She recently came back after years away and I saw her at a charity function. She was with her husband, Rhett something or other…."
Diary, my voice just trailed off and I felt like I was the one who needed water.
There was no way I was going to tell her about that magnificent man. How Melanie ever got him, now that was a good question!
I don’t think I’ve ever written three pages in here about anyone else ever. But that’s what it took just to describe him.
Describe how magnetic and vibrant he is…and how everyone flocked around them, hanging on their every word, as thought being from Europe was like coming back from Mars or something.
Including Ashley, standing there laughing, the light shining off his balding head.
I felt very hot then too, and then inexplicably cold. Then my heart did that funny flippy thing.
That’s been happening every day ever since. Like I caught some kind of virus. Only my internist is calling it an anxiety attack – he doesn’t listen when I tell him the “attacks” are causing the anxiety!
Anyway, I just sat there tugging at the suddenly tight collar on my Joie blouse, gasping for breath, about to faint and slide right off the chair onto the floor
and “Dr. Degree from who knows where” says
“Are you alright? Would you like some water?”
“Yes," I croaked with my last dying breath.
Anyway diary, the end result was she gave me some medication that she says will stop the “attacks” for now and then we will continue to have sessions until she thinks I wont need the medicine.
I wish we could have had a session today instead of talking about other people the whole time but what do I know?
I looked the medicine up here on my laptop before I opened you and Diary guess what? The main side effect of the medication is weight gain!
There’s no way I’m going to risk that!
Oh, did I mention Melanie is as skinny as ever?
Yawn…
good night dear Diary.
love,
Scarlett
Monday, June 6, 2011
You
fell off the path
and left no footprint
unlike the fairy tales
you read me
there were no bread crumbs
dropped at the forests edge
nothing to lead my way
I did not know how to be a good
kid
teenager
mother
wife
neighbor
but in the few short years
we had together
while you were young
and I
your daughter
was even younger
you showed me what being a good person is
you embraced that in every deed
of your short sparkling life
until the day came
and you were no more
and I stood on our path alone
and one day I realized
that the way you had lived
were the bread crumbs
for me to follow
to find my way
fell off the path
and left no footprint
unlike the fairy tales
you read me
there were no bread crumbs
dropped at the forests edge
nothing to lead my way
I did not know how to be a good
kid
teenager
mother
wife
neighbor
but in the few short years
we had together
while you were young
and I
your daughter
was even younger
you showed me what being a good person is
you embraced that in every deed
of your short sparkling life
until the day came
and you were no more
and I stood on our path alone
and one day I realized
that the way you had lived
were the bread crumbs
for me to follow
to find my way
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