The Curve of his back in the shower
the smell of him wet
the toasty feel he leaves on the sheets
in the grey dawn of morning
his voice on the phone
richer than in person
holding arms at night
floor beneath
sky above
stars in the window
he secures me

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE

I am not the only young girl who felt awkward in her space, her body, her role.

I am not the only bride who cried tears she didn't understand on her wedding night

the only woman straining to push a new life out of herself



I am not the only woman to flush with embarrassment at the school play when my child forgets their line and I am guilty of overly defining my self through them

Or the only woman who cries over a toilet full of blood and tissue with full eyes and an empty belly

The woman who stares into the dark late at night curled on her couch whose husband has left knows no fear I have not felt


I understand the swift merciless knife of betrayal

I have seen the end of the road where pavement runs out and you have to put on your night vision goggles and walk by what you already know to be true and not by what you see around you

I am not the only woman to have broken a hip, lost a husband or a savings account


I am also not the only one to fall short of their dreams, nag their children or spoil the grand kids

and when the day comes that I die
I can only hope that there is surcease in that holy moment
and that I can hear the beating drum of all the female hearts that came before me and the promise of all those that are to come and know

I am not the only one.

My Journal

Hello blank peice of paper

first page in my journal

I intend to write on you

to chronicle the life and death struggle of emotion

that constitutes my daily life


The failed marriage

the struggling kids

the aging parent

the new found independance

the new job

the new love interest



all of it

I intend to write here

so beware my brand new

and dare I say brave

new journal

you are in for the ride of a lifetime



you will hold my secrets

my fears and dissappointments

my dreans



you will be the Bible of my life course

as told in words



Your binding is strong

the paper secure

pen is poised

and so I begin