Alarm clock
beeping a reverse lullaby
Coffee brewing
sounds and smells of the day
lights turning on to block out a pink sky
sleepy little heads rubbed to awake
asphalt and tires mix
with fog
phones jingle faxes rattle
computers hum
people color the in between moments
home
the aroma of dinner
tv casting rainbows around the walls
baths and soft pajamas
stories read
kisses
lights turned off to let in the stars
Monday, July 9, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
What Is A Woman
What Is A Woman
Is it her smile
Her ability to procreate
swaying hips and big lips
or is it her staying power
baby sick
accounts overdrawn
when he turns to her as he walks out the door
her steady smile
fueling him
Is it her soft touch
on the pillow each night
of her young
that which helps them grow
like vitamins for the soul
or maybe that smile of letting go
when her job is done
her young unsure
but knowing they must leave
the steady look in her eyes
that says yes
leave
leave me and fly
soar
carry yourself far
for that is what I dreamed for you
way long ago
while I rocked you in my arms
Is it her smile
Her ability to procreate
swaying hips and big lips
or is it her staying power
baby sick
accounts overdrawn
when he turns to her as he walks out the door
her steady smile
fueling him
Is it her soft touch
on the pillow each night
of her young
that which helps them grow
like vitamins for the soul
or maybe that smile of letting go
when her job is done
her young unsure
but knowing they must leave
the steady look in her eyes
that says yes
leave
leave me and fly
soar
carry yourself far
for that is what I dreamed for you
way long ago
while I rocked you in my arms
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dreams
That magical canvas of the mind
Images sliding morphing seamlessly
free flowing ink blots
where thoughts run free
of daylight
a warm syrupy mix of feelings and impressions
communicating
telling you who you are
each morning we awake
shrug them off
their stardust residue
slides from our shoulders
we go out to face another day.
Images sliding morphing seamlessly
free flowing ink blots
where thoughts run free
of daylight
a warm syrupy mix of feelings and impressions
communicating
telling you who you are
each morning we awake
shrug them off
their stardust residue
slides from our shoulders
we go out to face another day.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
A Fairly Odd Woman
She was born on a hardship morning
when the cold settled
into the valleys
and surrounding hills
and knuckles of the old ones
She grew like the wild grass
the way things grow when they are left alone
to grow naturally
at one point she learned manners
societies rules
they nearly destroyed her
but not quite
for she learned to dance in the rain
to take midnight walks
to savor her own soul
she learned that every moment breathes
with the opportunity to invent who you are
so she succored and she treasured
each moments lesson
and ever so slowly life claimed her
as one of its own
and she became all that she had learned;
kindness
gentleness
wisdom
like rocket fueled boosters
falling away once theyve done their job
she learned and let go
she took that wild ride to places unknown
steered only by the stars
and the universe that created them
when the cold settled
into the valleys
and surrounding hills
and knuckles of the old ones
She grew like the wild grass
the way things grow when they are left alone
to grow naturally
at one point she learned manners
societies rules
they nearly destroyed her
but not quite
for she learned to dance in the rain
to take midnight walks
to savor her own soul
she learned that every moment breathes
with the opportunity to invent who you are
so she succored and she treasured
each moments lesson
and ever so slowly life claimed her
as one of its own
and she became all that she had learned;
kindness
gentleness
wisdom
like rocket fueled boosters
falling away once theyve done their job
she learned and let go
she took that wild ride to places unknown
steered only by the stars
and the universe that created them
Monday, July 4, 2011
ACTS
Leaving at least one cup of Java for someone you love/like
Tipping the bag boy (even though nobody does that anymore)
Picking up a stray piece of litter not of your own making
Answering the phone at the next desk - even though you don't really relate to that person
tipping the waiter extra because you saw the people at the table next to you were impossible
stepping out of the elevator to wait because of the crutches/wheel chair/stroller -which ever branch of humanity is less strong than you
Letting the cat out for a moment of sunshine and nature
Greeting the UPS man with a smile
An even bigger warmer smile for those who live with you
A shoulder rub
A lamp turned down
a blanket pulled up
Laying down at night and releasing the day
knowing
that all your acts counted
Tipping the bag boy (even though nobody does that anymore)
Picking up a stray piece of litter not of your own making
Answering the phone at the next desk - even though you don't really relate to that person
tipping the waiter extra because you saw the people at the table next to you were impossible
stepping out of the elevator to wait because of the crutches/wheel chair/stroller -which ever branch of humanity is less strong than you
Letting the cat out for a moment of sunshine and nature
Greeting the UPS man with a smile
An even bigger warmer smile for those who live with you
A shoulder rub
A lamp turned down
a blanket pulled up
Laying down at night and releasing the day
knowing
that all your acts counted
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Summer Satire
Dear Diary,
Today is Monday June 27th 2011
Well I did it! I went to the therapist this morning. It is late and I am tired and lying here in my bed with you on my laptop, so I will make this short and sweet and add more in the morning before my 10:30 massage appointment.
Ashley lies sleeping beside me and the sound of his snoring is so annoying! There! I poked him and he rolled over. That’s a little better. Where was I? Oh, right, the Therapist! I was a few minutes late and SHE made me wait! Can you imagine??? Anyway I tried to hide my annoyance once she finally invited me in to her office and I sat down in what I must admit, was a very comfortable leather club chair. Imported I think.
She wanted to know why I was there. What kind of question was that? If I could answer that I wouldn’t need to be there! But I felt forced to come up with some kind of answer because she just SAT there and waited and one of us needed to say something.
I told her that I was unhappy "My husband is so, well, boring.
He makes enough money so that I can come see you i told her but other than that the mans is SO insipid.
"What did you see in him when you first met him?" she asked rolling the pen between her fingers and leaning back in her leather chair as though the question was an after thought.
Well... now that I think back, what I saw all those years ago was how much Melanie wanted him, Melanie "the good". All through high school she constantly made me look bad with all her "goodness" Good grief, she was almost as insipid as Ashley! But for some reason especially that night at the prom, she was all glowy and Ashley seemed fascinated by her. Her in her boringly beige dress.
Never mind me looking breathtakingly glorious in red.
I looked fantastic, the truth of that was in every pair of male eyes in the room- except Ashley’s.
And when they announced HER name as prom queen, well....my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. But somehow looking at him standing up there on that stage beside her I realized that he looked good to me. Real good! Maybe it was the lighting but I just knew that I wanted that man. And that was that.
Realizing I hadn’t spoken out loud to answer the question I cleared my throat and hastily replied
“he was OK then I guess,”
my words trailed off and I looked at the Dr. waiting for a real question.
"Did you have any friends in high school?" she inquired.
Honestly Diary, I wouldn’t want to know how this woman makes her living as a therapist asking such dumb questions.
I told her, "I was the most popular girl in high school."
"Who did you confide in?" she asked quietly.
"Oh well, that is a different a different question" I laughed. "I could tell Prissy anything!" I smiled remembering.
"You see, she and her mother worked for us and she was just always around, helping me get ready and stuff."
"Are you still friends?" she asked.
"No" I laughed again, "She has gotten very uppity. She changed her name to Whoppi and now she does stand up comedy about snooty white southern belles. I've never been to see her act, it doesn’t sound very funny to me."
Diary..you know how you hear that all psychiatrists are crazy?
Well, I'm no expert I know, since this is the first one I’ve ever talked to but all the sudden for no reason whatsoever, she just made a strangling sound and held her tablet she been writing on in front of her face.
It was so weird. . Then she stood up and walked to a bar and poured a glass of water and drank it. Staring at her back, I saw her shoulders were shaking up and down and when she turned back around her eyes were all wet.
So I guess that little rumor about shrinks is true. Fortunately her little fit didn’t last long as I AM (well OK Ashley is) PAYING her a lot of money and so far we hadn’t done anything but make light conversation.
"Tell me" she said as she sat back down at her desk. "Melanie sounds like she was an important figure in your life when you were younger. Do you still keep in touch?"
Honestly, did this woman treat all her patients this way? Sit them in chair and ask them stupid questions about how their friends were doing? I was tempted to take a peek at the framed degrees hanging on the wall behind her head just to see who in the world ever gave her a degree but by the way she stared at me I thought better of it. Better wait and see if she had another one of her little coughing fits and look then!
I answered her question as patiently as I could. "First of all I told her, Melanie was not important in MY life, I was important in hers, she told me so herself."
No need to get snappy I thought. I took a deep breath and continued,
"As for seeing her, we traveled in the same circles even after we graduated. By early fall Ashley and I were engaged and planning the wedding of the year and she went abroad. For school I think.
She ended up staying there-I guess."
My neck felt hot.
"She recently came back after years away and I saw her at a charity function. She was with her husband, Rhett something or other…."
Diary, my voice just trailed off and I felt like I was the one who needed water.
There was no way I was going to tell her about that magnificent man. How Melanie ever got him, now that was a good question!
I don’t think I’ve ever written three pages in here about anyone else ever. But that’s what it took just to describe him.
Describe how magnetic and vibrant he is…and how everyone flocked around them, hanging on their every word, as thought being from Europe was like coming back from Mars or something.
Including Ashley, standing there laughing, the light shining off his balding head.
I felt very hot then too, and then inexplicably cold. Then my heart did that funny flippy thing.
That’s been happening every day ever since. Like I caught some kind of virus. Only my internist is calling it an anxiety attack – he doesn’t listen when I tell him the “attacks” are causing the anxiety!
Anyway, I just sat there tugging at the suddenly tight collar on my Joie blouse, gasping for breath, about to faint and slide right off the chair onto the floor
and “Dr. Degree from who knows where” says
“Are you alright? Would you like some water?”
“Yes," I croaked with my last dying breath.
Anyway diary, the end result was she gave me some medication that she says will stop the “attacks” for now and then we will continue to have sessions until she thinks I wont need the medicine.
I wish we could have had a session today instead of talking about other people the whole time but what do I know?
I looked the medicine up here on my laptop before I opened you and Diary guess what? The main side effect of the medication is weight gain!
There’s no way I’m going to risk that!
Oh, did I mention Melanie is as skinny as ever?
Yawn…
good night dear Diary.
love,
Scarlett
Today is Monday June 27th 2011
Well I did it! I went to the therapist this morning. It is late and I am tired and lying here in my bed with you on my laptop, so I will make this short and sweet and add more in the morning before my 10:30 massage appointment.
Ashley lies sleeping beside me and the sound of his snoring is so annoying! There! I poked him and he rolled over. That’s a little better. Where was I? Oh, right, the Therapist! I was a few minutes late and SHE made me wait! Can you imagine??? Anyway I tried to hide my annoyance once she finally invited me in to her office and I sat down in what I must admit, was a very comfortable leather club chair. Imported I think.
She wanted to know why I was there. What kind of question was that? If I could answer that I wouldn’t need to be there! But I felt forced to come up with some kind of answer because she just SAT there and waited and one of us needed to say something.
I told her that I was unhappy "My husband is so, well, boring.
He makes enough money so that I can come see you i told her but other than that the mans is SO insipid.
"What did you see in him when you first met him?" she asked rolling the pen between her fingers and leaning back in her leather chair as though the question was an after thought.
Well... now that I think back, what I saw all those years ago was how much Melanie wanted him, Melanie "the good". All through high school she constantly made me look bad with all her "goodness" Good grief, she was almost as insipid as Ashley! But for some reason especially that night at the prom, she was all glowy and Ashley seemed fascinated by her. Her in her boringly beige dress.
Never mind me looking breathtakingly glorious in red.
I looked fantastic, the truth of that was in every pair of male eyes in the room- except Ashley’s.
And when they announced HER name as prom queen, well....my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. But somehow looking at him standing up there on that stage beside her I realized that he looked good to me. Real good! Maybe it was the lighting but I just knew that I wanted that man. And that was that.
Realizing I hadn’t spoken out loud to answer the question I cleared my throat and hastily replied
“he was OK then I guess,”
my words trailed off and I looked at the Dr. waiting for a real question.
"Did you have any friends in high school?" she inquired.
Honestly Diary, I wouldn’t want to know how this woman makes her living as a therapist asking such dumb questions.
I told her, "I was the most popular girl in high school."
"Who did you confide in?" she asked quietly.
"Oh well, that is a different a different question" I laughed. "I could tell Prissy anything!" I smiled remembering.
"You see, she and her mother worked for us and she was just always around, helping me get ready and stuff."
"Are you still friends?" she asked.
"No" I laughed again, "She has gotten very uppity. She changed her name to Whoppi and now she does stand up comedy about snooty white southern belles. I've never been to see her act, it doesn’t sound very funny to me."
Diary..you know how you hear that all psychiatrists are crazy?
Well, I'm no expert I know, since this is the first one I’ve ever talked to but all the sudden for no reason whatsoever, she just made a strangling sound and held her tablet she been writing on in front of her face.
It was so weird. . Then she stood up and walked to a bar and poured a glass of water and drank it. Staring at her back, I saw her shoulders were shaking up and down and when she turned back around her eyes were all wet.
So I guess that little rumor about shrinks is true. Fortunately her little fit didn’t last long as I AM (well OK Ashley is) PAYING her a lot of money and so far we hadn’t done anything but make light conversation.
"Tell me" she said as she sat back down at her desk. "Melanie sounds like she was an important figure in your life when you were younger. Do you still keep in touch?"
Honestly, did this woman treat all her patients this way? Sit them in chair and ask them stupid questions about how their friends were doing? I was tempted to take a peek at the framed degrees hanging on the wall behind her head just to see who in the world ever gave her a degree but by the way she stared at me I thought better of it. Better wait and see if she had another one of her little coughing fits and look then!
I answered her question as patiently as I could. "First of all I told her, Melanie was not important in MY life, I was important in hers, she told me so herself."
No need to get snappy I thought. I took a deep breath and continued,
"As for seeing her, we traveled in the same circles even after we graduated. By early fall Ashley and I were engaged and planning the wedding of the year and she went abroad. For school I think.
She ended up staying there-I guess."
My neck felt hot.
"She recently came back after years away and I saw her at a charity function. She was with her husband, Rhett something or other…."
Diary, my voice just trailed off and I felt like I was the one who needed water.
There was no way I was going to tell her about that magnificent man. How Melanie ever got him, now that was a good question!
I don’t think I’ve ever written three pages in here about anyone else ever. But that’s what it took just to describe him.
Describe how magnetic and vibrant he is…and how everyone flocked around them, hanging on their every word, as thought being from Europe was like coming back from Mars or something.
Including Ashley, standing there laughing, the light shining off his balding head.
I felt very hot then too, and then inexplicably cold. Then my heart did that funny flippy thing.
That’s been happening every day ever since. Like I caught some kind of virus. Only my internist is calling it an anxiety attack – he doesn’t listen when I tell him the “attacks” are causing the anxiety!
Anyway, I just sat there tugging at the suddenly tight collar on my Joie blouse, gasping for breath, about to faint and slide right off the chair onto the floor
and “Dr. Degree from who knows where” says
“Are you alright? Would you like some water?”
“Yes," I croaked with my last dying breath.
Anyway diary, the end result was she gave me some medication that she says will stop the “attacks” for now and then we will continue to have sessions until she thinks I wont need the medicine.
I wish we could have had a session today instead of talking about other people the whole time but what do I know?
I looked the medicine up here on my laptop before I opened you and Diary guess what? The main side effect of the medication is weight gain!
There’s no way I’m going to risk that!
Oh, did I mention Melanie is as skinny as ever?
Yawn…
good night dear Diary.
love,
Scarlett
Monday, June 6, 2011
You
fell off the path
and left no footprint
unlike the fairy tales
you read me
there were no bread crumbs
dropped at the forests edge
nothing to lead my way
I did not know how to be a good
kid
teenager
mother
wife
neighbor
but in the few short years
we had together
while you were young
and I
your daughter
was even younger
you showed me what being a good person is
you embraced that in every deed
of your short sparkling life
until the day came
and you were no more
and I stood on our path alone
and one day I realized
that the way you had lived
were the bread crumbs
for me to follow
to find my way
fell off the path
and left no footprint
unlike the fairy tales
you read me
there were no bread crumbs
dropped at the forests edge
nothing to lead my way
I did not know how to be a good
kid
teenager
mother
wife
neighbor
but in the few short years
we had together
while you were young
and I
your daughter
was even younger
you showed me what being a good person is
you embraced that in every deed
of your short sparkling life
until the day came
and you were no more
and I stood on our path alone
and one day I realized
that the way you had lived
were the bread crumbs
for me to follow
to find my way
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE
I am not the only young girl who felt awkward in her space, her body, her role.
I am not the only bride who cried tears she didn't understand on her wedding night
the only woman straining to push a new life out of herself
I am not the only woman to flush with embarrassment at the school play when my child forgets their line and I am guilty of overly defining my self through them
Or the only woman who cries over a toilet full of blood and tissue with full eyes and an empty belly
The woman who stares into the dark late at night curled on her couch whose husband has left knows no fear I have not felt
I understand the swift merciless knife of betrayal
I have seen the end of the road where pavement runs out and you have to put on your night vision goggles and walk by what you already know to be true and not by what you see around you
I am not the only woman to have broken a hip, lost a husband or a savings account
I am also not the only one to fall short of their dreams, nag their children or spoil the grand kids
and when the day comes that I die
I can only hope that there is surcease in that holy moment
and that I can hear the beating drum of all the female hearts that came before me and the promise of all those that are to come and know
I am not the only one.
I am not the only bride who cried tears she didn't understand on her wedding night
the only woman straining to push a new life out of herself
I am not the only woman to flush with embarrassment at the school play when my child forgets their line and I am guilty of overly defining my self through them
Or the only woman who cries over a toilet full of blood and tissue with full eyes and an empty belly
The woman who stares into the dark late at night curled on her couch whose husband has left knows no fear I have not felt
I understand the swift merciless knife of betrayal
I have seen the end of the road where pavement runs out and you have to put on your night vision goggles and walk by what you already know to be true and not by what you see around you
I am not the only woman to have broken a hip, lost a husband or a savings account
I am also not the only one to fall short of their dreams, nag their children or spoil the grand kids
and when the day comes that I die
I can only hope that there is surcease in that holy moment
and that I can hear the beating drum of all the female hearts that came before me and the promise of all those that are to come and know
I am not the only one.
Monday, May 9, 2011
My Journal
Hello blank peice of paper
first page in my journal
I intend to write on you
to chronicle the life and death struggle of emotion
that constitutes my daily life
The failed marriage
the struggling kids
the aging parent
the new found independance
the new job
the new love interest
all of it
I intend to write here
so beware my brand new
and dare I say brave
new journal
you are in for the ride of a lifetime
you will hold my secrets
my fears and dissappointments
my dreans
you will be the Bible of my life course
as told in words
Your binding is strong
the paper secure
pen is poised
and so I begin
first page in my journal
I intend to write on you
to chronicle the life and death struggle of emotion
that constitutes my daily life
The failed marriage
the struggling kids
the aging parent
the new found independance
the new job
the new love interest
all of it
I intend to write here
so beware my brand new
and dare I say brave
new journal
you are in for the ride of a lifetime
you will hold my secrets
my fears and dissappointments
my dreans
you will be the Bible of my life course
as told in words
Your binding is strong
the paper secure
pen is poised
and so I begin
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
And late at night
the little perfect girl
read all alone
she read of sailing ships
and far away jungles
filled with exotic animals
and shrouded in mists
as vague as the future
And her life spun on
a gossamer thread
running like quicksilver
sometimes fast
sometimes barely creeping
its way
Others joined her lifes
spinning thread
a husband
and two children
both with their own threads
spinning off on their own life dance
her mates thread ran out before hers
leaving her once again
alone
and she read
late at night
books of people traveling
and high seas of adventure
and her memory tingled
a frisson of connection
traveling that long spun life cord
back to that little
perfect
girl
and her pillow shimmered
with tears for all she wanted to be
before she got caught
in the captive net of others opinions
she understood it all now
her thread
and others
that she still was
that little girl
that perfection
lies in being
that books are travel guides
for the imagination
to rehearse your mind
for what is possible
when you are ready for it
and so she set off
to see these places of books
romantic and far away
and found it was all true
all of it
and that the earth really is round
this time her future held no vague mists
instead
when she looked ahead
the future was bathed in
the clear perfect light found only in
a late afternoon
that bright steady radiance
that holds the promise of forever
before it compromises into a glorious burst of sunset
that spreads welcoming arms to the darkness
the little perfect girl
read all alone
she read of sailing ships
and far away jungles
filled with exotic animals
and shrouded in mists
as vague as the future
And her life spun on
a gossamer thread
running like quicksilver
sometimes fast
sometimes barely creeping
its way
Others joined her lifes
spinning thread
a husband
and two children
both with their own threads
spinning off on their own life dance
her mates thread ran out before hers
leaving her once again
alone
and she read
late at night
books of people traveling
and high seas of adventure
and her memory tingled
a frisson of connection
traveling that long spun life cord
back to that little
perfect
girl
and her pillow shimmered
with tears for all she wanted to be
before she got caught
in the captive net of others opinions
she understood it all now
her thread
and others
that she still was
that little girl
that perfection
lies in being
that books are travel guides
for the imagination
to rehearse your mind
for what is possible
when you are ready for it
and so she set off
to see these places of books
romantic and far away
and found it was all true
all of it
and that the earth really is round
this time her future held no vague mists
instead
when she looked ahead
the future was bathed in
the clear perfect light found only in
a late afternoon
that bright steady radiance
that holds the promise of forever
before it compromises into a glorious burst of sunset
that spreads welcoming arms to the darkness
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Imagine there was no such thing as death.
If you had the surety of living forever
You could wait to do things.
You wouldn't have to take a leap of faith into the unknown
on a business deal
or a mate
or anything at all
You could simply wait until the unknown revealed itself through time
All of the things you would want someone to know
would lose its urgency
because you had the luxury
of time.
But we don't have that.
And yet?
we live as though we do.
We live as though we are assured the next day
the next hour
the next minute
is going to be there.
What if we knew ahead of time it wasn't going to
be?
What would you do with that day?
What would you want to say,
who would you say it to?
_______________________
A chance to speak what is in your heart!
go here:
http://www.napowrimo.net/
If you had the surety of living forever
You could wait to do things.
You wouldn't have to take a leap of faith into the unknown
on a business deal
or a mate
or anything at all
You could simply wait until the unknown revealed itself through time
All of the things you would want someone to know
would lose its urgency
because you had the luxury
of time.
But we don't have that.
And yet?
we live as though we do.
We live as though we are assured the next day
the next hour
the next minute
is going to be there.
What if we knew ahead of time it wasn't going to
be?
What would you do with that day?
What would you want to say,
who would you say it to?
_______________________
A chance to speak what is in your heart!
go here:
http://www.napowrimo.net/
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I Am Home
My day starts with a rush
clothes
kissing awake little sleepy faces
oatmeal
the sun shines its urgency
the van
the school
kiss those little faces once again
the day
the sun following me just over my shoulder
a solar stalker
watching my day
it ends
and I am home
tummy loving sounds of pencils scratching across paper
comforting smell of bubble baths and
chicken cooking
relaxed sulky children
relaxed hub
relaxed me
I am home.
clothes
kissing awake little sleepy faces
oatmeal
the sun shines its urgency
the van
the school
kiss those little faces once again
the day
the sun following me just over my shoulder
a solar stalker
watching my day
it ends
and I am home
tummy loving sounds of pencils scratching across paper
comforting smell of bubble baths and
chicken cooking
relaxed sulky children
relaxed hub
relaxed me
I am home.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Little Girl
Born in the harsh bright lights of a hospital room the first thing she heard was her mothers yelling voice
whisked away to routine and strangers she opened her eyes
a new place
a few days later while her diaper was being changed
again she heard the mother voice
high pitched and needy
hands once again rescued her
a pattern emerged
life was a puzzle
figuring out the fickle needs of the mother voice and adapting to it
going to stay with other mother types on weekends
Becoming adroit at being strong
while wanting/craving a chance to be a little girl
curling up on your bed at night listening to alcohol fueled rants and knowing that your absolute job is to mother your mother
not knowing that tears drip for you in heaven.
whisked away to routine and strangers she opened her eyes
a new place
a few days later while her diaper was being changed
again she heard the mother voice
high pitched and needy
hands once again rescued her
a pattern emerged
life was a puzzle
figuring out the fickle needs of the mother voice and adapting to it
going to stay with other mother types on weekends
Becoming adroit at being strong
while wanting/craving a chance to be a little girl
curling up on your bed at night listening to alcohol fueled rants and knowing that your absolute job is to mother your mother
not knowing that tears drip for you in heaven.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
WORDS
I love words
words are the beginning and the end
of my very being
words have saved me when nothing else could
they tingle on my tongue
sizzle deep within my soul
sliding slowly into my brain
they exault my thoughts
they gently
softly affect my world
they change me in a moment
and inspire me for a lifetime
words are the beginning and the end
of my very being
words have saved me when nothing else could
they tingle on my tongue
sizzle deep within my soul
sliding slowly into my brain
they exault my thoughts
they gently
softly affect my world
they change me in a moment
and inspire me for a lifetime
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
HOME
A home is security
Its love
Its smell, its taste and feel
It involves your every sense
yet makes no sense at all
A soft bed after a long day
A song pulling memories from your heart of times passed,
mind pictures flowing thick and fast
Mashed potatoes with lumps
and gravy too!
Brothers and sisters beating each other up,
boring family dinners that will not matter - till you’re grown
Aunt Ethel’s scratchy kiss
Undle Albert’s false teeth
New babies with their funny smell of fresh and new'
backpacks homework and that best football game
Old doilies and new Tupperware
overdue library books...
and puppies.
Funerals with sad relatives
old pictures of people they say are related to you
bubble baths and vitamins
eat your vegetables
clean your plate
and heres a cookie!
Sneaking to read under the covers at night
Grandmas coming, cinnamon rolls baking
a smell to wake up to
Shaking rugs, dusting and clean your room!
chores done in a hurry....
Baseball in the yard with your brother and friends
First day of school
new clothes and old teachers
bad food
good report cards
First date
First car
First love
Broken hearts
Graduation, wedding veils, more faces around the table
Someone once said that you can’t go home again
They obviously didn’t know about the power of a song
smell of chicken frying or the sound of children playing
Home is inside of us
we carry it wherever we go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Its love
Its smell, its taste and feel
It involves your every sense
yet makes no sense at all
A soft bed after a long day
A song pulling memories from your heart of times passed,
mind pictures flowing thick and fast
Mashed potatoes with lumps
and gravy too!
Brothers and sisters beating each other up,
boring family dinners that will not matter - till you’re grown
Aunt Ethel’s scratchy kiss
Undle Albert’s false teeth
New babies with their funny smell of fresh and new'
backpacks homework and that best football game
Old doilies and new Tupperware
overdue library books...
and puppies.
Funerals with sad relatives
old pictures of people they say are related to you
bubble baths and vitamins
eat your vegetables
clean your plate
and heres a cookie!
Sneaking to read under the covers at night
Grandmas coming, cinnamon rolls baking
a smell to wake up to
Shaking rugs, dusting and clean your room!
chores done in a hurry....
Baseball in the yard with your brother and friends
First day of school
new clothes and old teachers
bad food
good report cards
First date
First car
First love
Broken hearts
Graduation, wedding veils, more faces around the table
Someone once said that you can’t go home again
They obviously didn’t know about the power of a song
smell of chicken frying or the sound of children playing
Home is inside of us
we carry it wherever we go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
ABSOLUTION
Standing under glistening stars
I think of you
you the taker
you appeared to give charm
acknowledgement
support
love
but your true role was to take
and so you did
you took money
you took children
you took dreams
that we talked about
long into the night
cuddled under covers
the moon shining in observance
you shattered trust
you stole idealism
you took everything
you thought you could
I stand here now under the same night sky
and my thoughts linger on you
the loser of my life
the taker
the harsh life lesson of knowing you
I look up up where the stars reside
dancing in their merry pattern
that existed long before
me
and you
I once loved you
and then after the long convoluted tale
of me and you had ended
I hated you
I really did
but tonight
under a frosty sky
that blurs the stars as it does my remembrance
I think of you
I finally see your unforgiving heart
in the limitless infinity of night sky
your limitations stand in stark contrast
there were glimpses
even when we were together
but I laughed them off
so sure I was of the power
of my love for you
no longer!
I have moved past the jailed subjugation of knowing you
reluctantly I understand
your power lives only in my mind
so under this starry frosty sky
where millions of people must be gazing
their thoughts and prayers
winging upwards
just like mine
I release you
you fly out of my heart
like the inept captive bird
that you always really were.
My face is cold with the settling frost
but my heart is warm
You are doing the best you can
I know that now
But you were never meant for my world
and I was never meant for yours
and for that
I release you.
I think of you
you the taker
you appeared to give charm
acknowledgement
support
love
but your true role was to take
and so you did
you took money
you took children
you took dreams
that we talked about
long into the night
cuddled under covers
the moon shining in observance
you shattered trust
you stole idealism
you took everything
you thought you could
I stand here now under the same night sky
and my thoughts linger on you
the loser of my life
the taker
the harsh life lesson of knowing you
I look up up where the stars reside
dancing in their merry pattern
that existed long before
me
and you
I once loved you
and then after the long convoluted tale
of me and you had ended
I hated you
I really did
but tonight
under a frosty sky
that blurs the stars as it does my remembrance
I think of you
I finally see your unforgiving heart
in the limitless infinity of night sky
your limitations stand in stark contrast
there were glimpses
even when we were together
but I laughed them off
so sure I was of the power
of my love for you
no longer!
I have moved past the jailed subjugation of knowing you
reluctantly I understand
your power lives only in my mind
so under this starry frosty sky
where millions of people must be gazing
their thoughts and prayers
winging upwards
just like mine
I release you
you fly out of my heart
like the inept captive bird
that you always really were.
My face is cold with the settling frost
but my heart is warm
You are doing the best you can
I know that now
But you were never meant for my world
and I was never meant for yours
and for that
I release you.
Friday, December 10, 2010
FIRE
There once was a girl who saw too much and ran far inside herself
And when she could run no more she stopped
and leaning against the wall of tiredness and defeat
she sank and huddled down
All was still
except somewhere deep inside was that little girl
Still looking
That kind of look that makes you stare at the screen when the movies over and the
screen has faded to black
The kind that makes you stretch your eyes wider to cross a room in a darkness like pitch
Even knowing that wont help you see
Into this infinite nothingness she stared as she curled against that wall waiting
In spite of the looking and waiting it still caught her unaware
when it came
this mind numbing joyous light
Gently surrounding her
changing her
It warmed her light dimmed soul
And she became it
this fire
Small and crackling
Soothing and warm
And then bigger
And irrepressible
Impossible to ignore
A long overdue conflagration
of thoughts and feelings and ideas
and love
And whether made uncomfortable by her heat or drawn
by its warmth
people gazed at her fire
And when she could run no more she stopped
and leaning against the wall of tiredness and defeat
she sank and huddled down
All was still
except somewhere deep inside was that little girl
Still looking
That kind of look that makes you stare at the screen when the movies over and the
screen has faded to black
The kind that makes you stretch your eyes wider to cross a room in a darkness like pitch
Even knowing that wont help you see
Into this infinite nothingness she stared as she curled against that wall waiting
In spite of the looking and waiting it still caught her unaware
when it came
this mind numbing joyous light
Gently surrounding her
changing her
It warmed her light dimmed soul
And she became it
this fire
Small and crackling
Soothing and warm
And then bigger
And irrepressible
Impossible to ignore
A long overdue conflagration
of thoughts and feelings and ideas
and love
And whether made uncomfortable by her heat or drawn
by its warmth
people gazed at her fire
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